“No Salary–He Only Took Tips.”– (Originally posted around 2007.)

Last Thursday I was talking to my friend Dru and his friend (Kate?) about doctors with unfortunate names:

DRU–There was one in Bryan called Doctor Paine. I never understood how he had any clients with a name like “Paine.”

(I thought “Doctor Pain” would be a great name for a wrestler.)

KATE–You think that’s bad, there’s a urologist in Austin called “Dick Chopp”!

JSB–Hmm. You’d think with a name like that he’d be a mohel.*


Now before you tell me how far-fetched this sounds, I looked Dr. Chopp up, and not only does he exist, his office is four blocks from my apartment. I always see deer grazing in the grass next to it late at night.


“Areas of Special Interest: Dr. Richard (Dick) Chopp is well known in the Austin community for performing Vasectomies.”

And he is quoted as saying,  “There’s more Vasectomies to be Done.”

But doesn’t his name seem to indicate a level of…sloppiness? (He certainly needs a proofreader for his website. When does “vasectomy” become a proper noun? I guess when it’s your willie on the line. )

And then there’s this page:


“He’s a sling! He’s a sphincter! They’re detectives! ‘Sling and Sphincter’–This fall on CBS!”

*(For you goyim:  http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mohel)


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